Now that it is more than two weeks after this incident happened, I can now safely talk about it in the web. Lately I have disclosed this blog to my network, and I don’t want the person in question to find him being talked about in the public. Actually it is not he that I am going to talk about. Just using his case as a backdrop for today’s post.
Hua ye ki this guy (a colleague) appeared on a TV marrriage show…obviously to showcase his marriageability. But he flunked on two points, or did he?. First he diplomatically answered that if the bride’s side wants to give something to the girl, he won’t object. To this the girls at my office were very furious. How can he talk about dowry? That too on national TV.
Second (and the backdrop of my post) he said that his prospective wife will need to do purdah whenever there are elders at home. His parents lived in a different city and would come once or twice in an year. He had said this and everyone was like…hey he is so conservative.
And I was transferred into flashback when the same purdah or ghunghat had become a issue in my family.
A cousin brother, much elder than me, got married. The girl, a city bred, was never used to purdah. For the first few weeks, she was excused from this tradition on the ground that she was a nayi bahu. But the liberty was not for long.
One day my masi called mother. “Do you know she wouldn’t take ghunghat even before her father-in-law? I don’t know what to do?
Then someone talked sense to the girl. It’s difficult to challenge such age-old traditions. So she took the easy route. She practiced purdah whenever there were people from outside. At home, she continued her old habits. Masi agreed to this adjustment. At least partial victory for her.
By the time my elder brother got married, purdah system had become quite an obsolete custom. Yes, bhabhi had problems with touching every elders feet. How can I, without knowing who the other person is? She had point. But again a tradition was being challenged. So I talked sense to her. Why not touch their feet than enter into a conflict with your mother-in-law; my mother? She agreed, although the reason was a bit different. Each time she touched an elderly woman’s feet, the woman would compare her to her own bahu who didn’t practise the tradition.
My latest bhabhi would have wanted to keep a ghunghat, but cannot. It doesn’t stay on her head. Even during her marriage, it didn’t stay up there and her mother had to finally fasten it with a clip.
Coming back to the present now. Did you know the guy was a big hit on TV? According to a friend of his, his inbox was full of messages from prospective brides. Strange na, that girls are sending proposals to him although he was so conservative in his thoughts. Or because he wanted to find an easy way than challenge age old traditions.
Read about yet another tradition and a story assiciated with it at: