Feeling very low today

feeling very low today.

it was all planned. then all of a sudden the plans were shattered.

it was my best friend’s marriage. we had been friends since childhood. the marriage was to be held at a place near benaras. mother knew my closeness to the friend. so she had personally bought the gifts – a beautiful saree for the bride and a shirt for the groom, my friend. also there were other gifts. the tickets were done – the friend had personally got the tickets done. today i was to take the train to benaras. i had come to office along with the bag and baggage.

and then the hurdle came from the most unexpected quarters – the boss.

god knows what was preventing me from hinting my travel plans all these days. i didn’t disclose to him my intention of going out of station until today. can you believe how irresponsibly i behaved. to add fuel to the fire, i was on leave yesterday – i was busy attending interviews lined up for the day.

when i disclosed to the boss’s secretary that i haven’t yet talked about my travel plans to boss, she said the most obvious “… that’s so very unprofessional”.

boss echoed a similar feeling when i gave him a call at around 11. he didn’t appreciate the unprofessional behaviour coming from me. i tried to convince but to no avail.

all he was ready to give me was until monday first half.

i committed to him that i will be there by the stipulated time.

although, i knew it very well that this was almost impossible.

on monday, the train was scheduled for 4.30 in the evening. the latest i could reach back delhi was until 7 in the morning, tuesday.

i knew this very well. still i agreed.

that’s really very unprofessional of me. i thought i will give an excuse to boss and he will forgive me.

but the tone of his was giving me chills within my nerves. what if he is really pissed off by my behaviour.

i talked to family and within minutes of explaining the situation everyone was telling me not to go.

i finally relented. i am not in a state now to be thrown out of the job. several interviews later, i have not heard of any positive response. besides, i have heard that a person out of job for even a month is treated as a fresher. this job has already reduced my skills to a rubble. now i don’t want the loss of it to further worsen my situation.

so i excused myself to this friend of mine. he was very disappointed. thankfully, he was reasonable enough. we agreed to meet up after he comes back to delhi with his wife-to-be.

boss was the next to receive a call from me. this time he showed no reaction at all when i confided in him that i have cancelled my trip. devil

family were the last to hear about the reaction of the concerned parties. mom heaved a sigh of releif.

now news had to be broken to people at office that i am not going to benaras. didn’t tell them about the boss angle. just told them that the wedding has been cancelled because of some personal reasons.

anyways the things have finally settled down. there were of course some losses that i bore:

  • it would have been a memorable weekend activity
  • it had been long since i had attended a marriage, the last being my brothers
  • i had planned some really fun and memorable activities during the shadi (again i would have been the centre of attraction since i was the groom’s best friend)
  • the train tickets are unrefundable now. not my money. but u see, wastage of money is so bad.
  • my friend and me had been planning about this marriage since long. he was very disappointed.

it all happened because i didn’t talk to boss on time.

but whatever happened has happened. it’s little use to cry over split milk.

anyways, there is a trip to nainital that’s on the cards now. maybe next saturday

barely had i suggested about my cancelled trip that everyone started coaxing me to come along to nainital. imagine 10 people on ur skype chat forcing u to join the trip. i gave all kinds of excuses, to no avail altogether. finally i have asked them for time to discuss family. mother is leaving with bhabhis the day after. won’t they feel bad. will talk about it in the evening today.

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6 thoughts on “Feeling very low today

  1. thanks for ur concern munish.

    guys u know he hasn’t yet arranged the meeting for which he didn’t allow me time. that was scheduled for yesterday morning.

    he does it this way always. anytime he feels that he has to get me working, he will assign me a task. then he wouldn’t give me time for the discussion on that work. finally i would give up and there wud b no khoj for the work.

    a new girl has joined our company. she isn’t yet aware of boss’s tactics. each time he talks about a meeting, she gets into hypermode. she is slowly learning the ways of this company.

  2. This is what is known as deception and lies , just to control others for their own pleasure.

    These kind (your boss) of people hurt others feelings , just to please themselves.

    They think that all others are inconsequetial and are there to serve them and every one is their servant.

    I recommend you to look for a change,otherwise this kind of environment may stop your fast career growth.

  3. i too m planning to change but nothing has yet turned up. let’s see.

    don’t think my boss is one of those tyrannical kinds. in fact it is really difficult to define wt is he.

    he would seldom raise his voice on u. he would seldom spy on u.

    yet at times he will behave in such annoying ways, an example of which i have mentioned above.

    just when i feel to let go of this job, he will come out as that mentor kind. doesn’t motivate me; but yes, forces me to think y is that he is wanting to keep me here doing nothing.

  4. Things never turn up , you need to take some action for that .

    It is good that you have a very good web site.

    But , i think this kind of resentment may hurt your output in the long run.

    I am a member of Toastmasters club of new delhi and TM club of south delhi.
    There is a club in noida too.

    We meet once a week.You could come as a guest. You will find alot of like minded people there, and make alot of friends .

    This will open new avenues for you.

    Take care

    Munish

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